Faking It

Show me your ways, O Lord,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
For you are God my Savior.
Psalm 25:4-5


There is a young woman I know who has been in and out of my life for years. For a brief time I would have referred to her as a lovely young woman but not today. If you met her today and saw her behaving the way she does most of the time you would see a bitter, controlling selfish young lady. But once for a short span of time I would have described her as fun, easy going and caring. For that small expanse of time she wanted something and behaved in a way that she believed would best help her get it. She did get it and now she neither appreciates it nor cares to keep it. Now as I watch her and hear about her from others, I wonder where that other girl went, the girl with the good qualities. I guess she was pretending to get what she wanted. Even so, she is capable of better behavior. I’ve seen it.

Years ago when I was a young woman myself trying to learn who to live out my faith a friend of mine told me to “fake it ‘til you make it.” At first that made no sense to me. Wasn’t my Christian walk supposed to be real, pure and meaningful? Of course it was, it is, but my actions weren’t going to change overnight. My habits weren’t going to change overnight. If you want to be a disciple you have to learn discipline. For many of us that is not our natural state. I certainly didn’t spend hours reading my Bible or studying the Word. So, following the advice of that lovely woman, I began to do things differently but also to act differently. I may not have been a new creation yet, but God was working on me and I truly desired His favor.

No one likes a phony. When behaviors are used as manipulations that will show themselves as such and when they do, as in the case of my young acquaintance the people being manipulated will be even less likely to want a relationship. The change in behavior cannot be a temporary means to an end. When we “fake it ‘til we make it,” it is more in the nature of learning to speak a new language. I stand in my room and practice that new accent until is becomes natural. In the same way I learn to carry myself as the child of a king rather than the poor beggar I believe myself to be. I’ve spent quite awhile faking it. As soon as one skill is mastered another comes looking for renovation. When I conquer one sin or selfish desire in the name of Jesus, another comes to fill its shoes. I am not perfect, far from it but I know enough to put on Christ, to imitate the One who is perfect. I will fake it until I make it, not into someone’s good graces, not into the new job or the new friendship but all the way home, to the arms of my Father. He will then take those attitudes still under construction and turn them around.

When we see friendship with Jesus not as a means to an end but as the end itself we are well on our way. Jesus is the Way and when we attempt to walk like him, talk like him and act like him we will have to fake it to some extent for some period of time. Faking it to get a desired result from another human being is deplorable. Faking it because we don’t quite have the grace to do as Jesus did but boy do we want to, is admirable. If you are currently struggling in some area of your character fake being a better person until you become that better person. Just like I can see the hard heart of my young acquaintance God can see the yielded heart in all of us. He loves us and the more grace we seek the more He will give.

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