Perfect Parent, Perfect Kid
Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn
from it. Proverbs 22:6
One of my goals in life from as early as I can remember, was to be a mom. In fact I wanted to be a Kool-aid mom. You know, the one who always has all the kids at her house, her own and all of their friends. God was very good to me in blessing me with four children of my own and giving me that dream of having their friends around as well. It seemed to me that if you were an active part of your children’s lives you got the double portion benefit of enjoying them and raising secure, confident children who would make good, sound decisions. If you are laughing at me right now, I’m okay with that.
I have four grown children who are dearer than dear to me. I love them beyond measure. Some of them however have made choices that have made their lives so difficult. Some have been hurtful to themselves and other and each one, every one of them, lacks confidence in one area or another. This is not to say that they aren’t capable, functioning adults, some of whom are doing very well. This is to say that the road has been hard, full of potholes and rocks. In other words, it has been real life.
For years I judged my parenting and found all kinds of holes and deficiencies. As one after another stumbled and sometimes fell, I took responsibility, at least in my heart. What could I have done differently?
Today reading 1 Chronicles I saw David and Solomon through God’s eyes. David was not allowed to build the temple. God told David that based on some of David’s behaviors, Solomon was better suited to build the temple. Reading I flashed forward to Solomon in his later years. Sometimes so close to God, so wise (we do say the “wisdom of Solomon”) but sometimes just downright selfish. And there it was, comfort from my dear Father.
My children are far from perfect but in some ways they’ve done better than I ever have. They are human, just like me, just like David, just like Solomon, and just like you. God is father to us all. If my heart breaks seeing my babies (the youngest of whom is 25!) struggling with consequences how much more so do those actions break the heart of God?
The verse in 1 Chronicles says to be “careful to observe the decrees and laws.” In other words to be obedient. I am often disobedient and/or disrespectful to my Father just as my children have been to me. If we will not obey and stay close to a perfect parent how can I expect more when I am flawed and far, far from perfect? There are things I would do differently, of course, but a lot of it I would do exactly the same way. The one thing I know I did well was to introduce them to, acquaint them with and point them in the direction of, their perfect Father. Just like me, just like David and Solomon, they have to choose to obey Him or not.
and when he is old he will not turn
from it. Proverbs 22:6
One of my goals in life from as early as I can remember, was to be a mom. In fact I wanted to be a Kool-aid mom. You know, the one who always has all the kids at her house, her own and all of their friends. God was very good to me in blessing me with four children of my own and giving me that dream of having their friends around as well. It seemed to me that if you were an active part of your children’s lives you got the double portion benefit of enjoying them and raising secure, confident children who would make good, sound decisions. If you are laughing at me right now, I’m okay with that.
I have four grown children who are dearer than dear to me. I love them beyond measure. Some of them however have made choices that have made their lives so difficult. Some have been hurtful to themselves and other and each one, every one of them, lacks confidence in one area or another. This is not to say that they aren’t capable, functioning adults, some of whom are doing very well. This is to say that the road has been hard, full of potholes and rocks. In other words, it has been real life.
For years I judged my parenting and found all kinds of holes and deficiencies. As one after another stumbled and sometimes fell, I took responsibility, at least in my heart. What could I have done differently?
Today reading 1 Chronicles I saw David and Solomon through God’s eyes. David was not allowed to build the temple. God told David that based on some of David’s behaviors, Solomon was better suited to build the temple. Reading I flashed forward to Solomon in his later years. Sometimes so close to God, so wise (we do say the “wisdom of Solomon”) but sometimes just downright selfish. And there it was, comfort from my dear Father.
My children are far from perfect but in some ways they’ve done better than I ever have. They are human, just like me, just like David, just like Solomon, and just like you. God is father to us all. If my heart breaks seeing my babies (the youngest of whom is 25!) struggling with consequences how much more so do those actions break the heart of God?
The verse in 1 Chronicles says to be “careful to observe the decrees and laws.” In other words to be obedient. I am often disobedient and/or disrespectful to my Father just as my children have been to me. If we will not obey and stay close to a perfect parent how can I expect more when I am flawed and far, far from perfect? There are things I would do differently, of course, but a lot of it I would do exactly the same way. The one thing I know I did well was to introduce them to, acquaint them with and point them in the direction of, their perfect Father. Just like me, just like David and Solomon, they have to choose to obey Him or not.
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