In Hiding, Sort Of



Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.


Psalm 139: 7-10



Have you ever tried to hide from God? Did you think you were successful? I’ve tried it and I fear I may try it again, although I hope not. It doesn’t work. God doesn’t look the other way. There is no place he won’t go or can’t see.

I have a friend who does not believe this, or so he says. I’ll call him Billy. Billy is a great guy. His major flaw is that he is his own authority and therefore his own worst enemy. Without a guiding force in his life, Billy relies on his own limited view of the world, his own narrow experiences and scariest of all, the things of the world. His gospel, if you will is not the Gospel, but whatever popular opinion is sweeping our nation. What causes him the most stress and the deepest pain is that Billy knows the actual Gospel, very well. He knows God, not about God, he actually knows God. Unfortunately God’s ways are inconvenient to Billy right now. So Billy is attempting to hide from God. How do I know? He’s hiding from me too.

Billy and I go way back, which means he knows me pretty well. He knows that I have great faith and great reverent fear. He knows that I want to please God. So when Billy is making choices that he knows are wrong, when he is living in a way that offends God, he hides from me too. Why? I’m not terribly subtle. If he asks me my opinion I’ll tell him and I use words like sin, responsibility, grow up, words he doesn’t want to hear.

The pattern goes like this. When the sinful behavior starts we still have communication. He gives me a little information just to see how I will react. While I’ve gotten quite adept at remaining calm and not judging I still hold to what I know. I still speak the truth with as much love as possible. Ah, but the truth is the problem, so Billy pulls back. By the time he’s pulled back from me, he’s run as far from God as he can.

That leaves me with a limited idea of what he’s doing but God still knows. Billy, like all of us, can hide from humans. We may know, or have a pretty good idea, what is going on, but God absolutely knows. He knew before we did. He knows everything. We can water that down, talk about free will, blah, blah, blah but at the end of the day, the middle of the day and the beginning of the day God sees all and knows all.

I wish Billy would stop his self-destructive behaviors. I wish he would talk to me and at least try to listen to some truth. I wish he wouldn’t hide. Right now, he’s pretty deep in hiding. I know where he is but I can’t get to him. Billy is my friend; he’s dear to me. It is extremely unlikely that I will ever give up on him, but it could happen.

God adores Billy, warts and all. Even now in the midst of deep sin, lousy behavior and total denial, God loves Billy and is watching every move he makes.

Where can Billy go to hide from God? Nowhere. Which means Billy will never get beyond the saving power and grace of God. When he chooses to submit, God will be standing right there. Isn’t that fantastic?

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