In Good Standing

He has showed you O man, what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you?

To do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly

with your God. Micah 6:8

Recently I was blessed to spend some time with an old friend. Although we have remained close over the years our actual face to face encounters have become a bit rare. I looked forward with great expectation to having those few hours with her. Once those hours began I wasn't so sure. My friend and I have very different lifestyles, that is glaringly obvious, but I've always thought we had the same worldview, the same spiritual perspective. We, as it turns out, do not.

For a time we were joined by another friend and the subject of church came up. In a few short sentences I realized that form far outweighs function for my friend, that she had relied on the church to give her children any spiritual perspective and that “faith” in her home was really just a prayer at the dinner table, if someone remembered. That was a shock.

Throughout the conversations I began to see that while my god is God, the Alpha Omega, the Almighty, her god, technically gods, are achievements, status, leisure and money. Now keep in mind, this isn't some awful person. This is a sweet, funny woman with a lot of wit and intelligence. She's fun, kind and okay, a little intimidating. As our talks continued I believe she also realized how different we've become over the years and out of kindness, decided to help me, to fix me if you will. That fixing was quite frankly, insulting.

I began to feel challenged and inferior. I recognized once again my square peg in a round whole existence in a place where I usually felt comfortable. Yes, we're different but to this point I thought we respected each others differences. After she left, I was thinking about what she said and starting to feel really low, but my precious Abba threw a little light on the subject, illuminating the error of my thinking.

This woman has always been great at delegating. Her house is cleaned by someone else, at work she assigns chores to others that perhaps should be hers and her children are truly being raised by a village. It was there that I saw the issue and praise God it wasn't mine.

My dear one believes in doctrine, in form over function. Although she would check the box marked “Christian” she has no real relationship with Christ. It was a Martha and Mary moment and this time I got to be Mary, choosing what is better. There are people who take advantage of my willingness to serve them, true. I'm not terribly (really not at all) concerned with the politics of life, with pecking order, true. As long as my bills are paid and my family is fed then I have enough, true. Those things aren't what drive me or get me up in the morning. It wasn't that she was making things up to fir her agenda. Everything she said was true. She wants me to be concerned about the world, about stuff and about living to please me. I'm not. What I am concerned with is pleasing my God before any other person, certainly before pleasing myself. It is my privilege to serve a mighty God and I should not question who or how He chooses for me to serve.

Do I still feel judged? Yes. Do I still feel that I didn't quite make the cut? Yes. Do I feel like a square peg in a round hole? Almost always. No problem, because through these conversations with this friend I also realized that the humility I so want to exhibit is growing in me. That I am determined to do justly, love mercy and walk with my God. I don't measure up much by worldly standards which when she pointed it out made me feel awful but now I can say, Praise God! The less I fit in this world, the better I'll stand with Him.